* INVOLVE THEM IN YOUR WORKOUTS.
They may feel left out and resent the time you spend working out. In this case you could try to involve them in your exercise routine. You might want to invite them to join you in an aerobics class, teach them how to safely spot you when you lift weights, or bring them along for an afternoon swim. It's also possible to combine exercise with family activities. Rather than heading off alone for a Saturday morning walk, you could take the family to the zoo or amusement park. That way you can spend the whole DAY walking and everyone will be involved in the fun.


* EASE THEIR FEARS.
They could feel jealous or insecure about the "new you". Perhaps they're afraid that you'll make new friends, develop new interests, or attract too much attention from the opposite sex. They may subconsciously fear that you'll abandon them. In this case it's important to reassure them and address their fears. If the gym is an unfamiliar place that you disappear to 5 days a week, they may have unrealistic ideas about what goes on there. Take them along and let them see that there's little time for socializing during your workout. Involve them in activities at the club. Remember not to neglect other areas of your relationship. Be sure you still spend plenty of quality time together doing things you both enjoy.


* EDUCATE AND ENCOURAGE THEM.
There could be feelings of guilt about their own less-than-healthy ways. It may be easier for them to discourage you than to change their own bad habits. Don't take those insecure comments too personally! Look upon this as an opportunity to be a good role model. Show them what fun it is to be healthy and active. Let them know how much better you feel when you eat right. Educate them and help them to make small healthy changes. Once they begin to see some benefits themselves, they'll be much more enthusiastic about your own healthy efforts.


* LET THEM KNOW HOW TO HELP.
It's possible that they mean well. They may be sincerely trying to help, but just don't know how. If their actions or suggestions are less than helpful, then it's up to you to guide them in the right direction. Give them very specific information about what they can do to assist and encourage you. Tell them how much it means to you to receive a sincere compliment. Ask them to get the kids ready for school several times a week so you have time to lift weights before work. Enlist their help in the form of rewards or contracts. For example, you could draw up a written agreement stating that if you attend your aerobics class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, the two of you will go to a movie on Saturday as a reward. This actively involves them in encouraging your success.

Remember to be flexible and open-minded when dealing with these situations. Many times a hurtful comment or uncooperative attitude is based on insecurity or misunderstanding. If that's the case, you're better off responding with positive suggestions rather than anger. Knowledge is perhaps the most important factor affecting your success. Learn everything you can about nutrition and fitness and educate those around you. Next time a well meaning relative tells you that girls shouldn't lift weights because they'll bulk up like gorillas; you'll be able to enlighten rather than strangle them.